Thou art shall kiss

The first key to a good kiss comes from the power of your attraction and love for someone which you obviously have. Even the most technically skilled kissers often fall short if their kiss is insincere. You are not alone in missing the Kissing 101 class, many people never got the basics of a good kiss. Kissing is more an art than an education not unlike meaningful conversation. In fact if you think of kissing as a way of communicating in ways that words can’t come close, the subtlety of good kissing technique comes clear.

Being prepared for a kiss just starts with basic oral hygiene. Kissing onion or garlic breath is an immediate detractor so brushing the teeth or breath mints can get you off to a good start. The three primary elements that turn on a kissing conversation are breath, lips and tongue. Although it seems like stating the obvious, breathe through your nose while kissing and let your slight pulling back to take a deeper breaths help slow down and connect you while you kiss. Although a racing heart and gasping for air is not uncommon during intense kissing it can be a little off putting at the beginning of the interlude.

Whether you are just giving a little peck or inviting a longer conversation with an open mouthed kiss is all about how you use your lips. Lips are covered with nerve endings and have the ability to communicate soft opening as well as firm control. Experiment with softening your lips even for a short kiss and see how that changes the dialogue. Hard kisses with tight lips can be overwhelming even in the midst of serious passion. Soft open mouth kisses invite your partner into a dialogue which is the goal. Feel for her response. Open mouthed kissing can teach you a lot about opening to relationships, about how to not force things and gives both partners the opportunity to be active participants choosing their unspoken words.

The agile tongue can speak volumes in a kiss. Unfortunately, many people think the French Kiss is as simple as basic insertion of their tongue in the mouth of their partner. Nothing can kill a kissing mood like a sloppy tongue in the midst of a tentative open mouth kissing conversation. Consider the tongue like a diplomat, and just like in a good conversation, use the tongue judiciously to communicate interest, curiosity and intrigue. A light tongue tracing the lips, quick darting meeting of tongues in the center of open lips is incredibly exciting and will open the conversation to new levels.

Discovering the art of kissing takes time. The patient kisser has the time to experiment and demonstrate their sensitivity and understanding. Rushing in and trying to take control of the kiss screams amateur and pushes people away more often than pulling them in. Developing the artistic capacity to communicate without words will not only enhance the physical intimacy that you share but you will be surprised at how much safer and more open your verbal conversations will become.

The Scent of Desire

Scent is our most basic and primitive sense and our noses, more than any other sense we possess are best wired to tell us whether the person we are with is a good match. Trusting your sense of smell to pick the right partner for you is built into our biology. Physical attraction itself may literally be based on smell. We discount the importance of scent-centric communication only because it operates on such a subtle level. Although we are often oblivious to the scent signals we are sending and receiving, these subconscious messages are designed to not only help us choose a partner with whom we have the potential of creating healthy offspring, but scent compatibility also predicts relationships longevity and faithfulness in a relationship.

Our sense of smell and what attracts or repels us is blueprinted in our immunological gene structure called the MHC. Every individual has their own genetic scent makeup which is as unique as their fingerprint. What’s more, when it comes to reproduction, the healthiest progeny comes from two individuals whose MHC is most distinct and different from each other. This assures that any offspring has the widest range of immune function and therefore is the most disease resistant.

While a woman’s scent changes throughout her monthly cycle, with the strongest scent attraction during her most fertile times, there isn’t a cure for true scent incompatibility. Not being attracted and frequently repelled by someone’s smell is one of the most common reasons cited by dissatisfied partners in marriage counseling.

Don’t be discouraged, you are not alone in being confused by the wide array of colognes, body washes and deodorants that effectively disguise our base scent attractions. I have been promoting the use of true scent products that enhance your own natural chemistry for years, intuitively knowing that products made chemically are not just bad for your most sensitive tissue, but also cover up your own natural odor and may just interfere with our ability to find and smell our true mates. So take this message to heart or rather to your nose and be grateful for the biological gatekeeper that doesn’t only bring you breath, but will inform you on the most life determining relationship issues in your control.

-Extracted from an article of a similar title written by Wendy Strgar